Cutting
by Shattered Glass Keeps Falling
Summary: When Max loses everything and Jeb not Fang sorry does something unforgivable or is it...
1. Chapter 1

**Just had an idea for it, not sure if a oneshot or not, do say if you want more…**

They'd gone never to return it was his fault. He told me not to go back; if I had I could've saved them. Now they were somewhere I didn't know. I bet they had some kind of brilliant release, never to be sad again. But I had to live with the pain. I broke down, he had argued my case to stay and he'd go but he failed but if I was there we could've saved them. I'd lost the guy I'd loved and been given a soldier with no emotion instead. I should have gone even though he told me to stay. I felt helpless and sad and guilt-ridden. I'd often thought about self-harming and why people did it, I now understood why. I reached out and grabbed the kitchen knife from the side and started cutting into my wrist horizontally. I was surprised that I couldn't feel anything. Blood started to appear, I breathed out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. I did feel better for it. I dug the knife in deeper and twisted making the crimson liquid flow freely out, I couldn't feel a thing, not pain, not guilt, not love, not life, not death, nothing. I hoped this would solve things and as I watched the trickle increasing to a flooded stream, I felt… satisfied. I imagined all my problems drifting away with every drop. I raised the knife and dug it into a different spot twisting it and digging in deeper, I began to feel woozy. I smiled, feeling ecstasy run all over me and my sadness and guilt flowing away to join the pool of blood lying on the floor. My tears of joy and sadness mixed with it. I dipped a finger in it and licked it. Pure poison. He rushed into the room obviously only just realising I'd gone missing. I laughed when he saw me on the floor surrounded by my own blood. The look of guilt, shock, pain and anger on his face.

'You made me do this,' I whispered shaking.

'No, Max, oh, no, no, no,' he repeated grabbing kitchen towels and pushing them on to my arm, I pushed him away.

'I like the feel of it flowing freely; we always wanted to be free, didn't we? Now the blood gets a chance too!' I giggled, I was getting light-headed.

'Let me make it stop, you don't want to die, I don't want you to die,' he sounded scared; it made me realise the amount of blood there was. There wasn't enough. I screamed with laughter as I brought down the knife again. Not enough, I repeated to myself, not enough. I was shaking uncontrollably. I knew it but oh well. He had driven me over the edge but caught me just in time, but I was slipping through his fingers. If I died it was his fault! I didn't even care, I'd lost so much and blood was a symbol of that. I'd lost my family, my flock, my life and my love, and now I was losing control. Fang pushed the towels on my arm and held me by the waist so hard, that I couldn't escape. I struggled against him but he was too strong and I was weak with emotion and loss.

'Get off of me,' I shouted beating him with my other hand. Fang did nothing but try to stop the blood. Black edges started to appear in my vision, the darkness was engulfing me.

'Max stay with me!' he said urgently

'No,' I muttered, drifting away.

'Oh, stop being so stubborn, come back and stay with me, come on, Max, you've got to live!' he sounded so desperate that I tried I did try but it didn't work. The darkness was too strong and soon I was covered with the dark.

**Do you want more or not?**

**Please review…**

**Beth**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I should have updated earlier but here is the second chapter…**

I woke up to a sharp throbbing pain in my left arm. I looked down and saw an almost-entirely crimson covering my lower arm. I sighed and lay back on my bed. I suddenly was hit with a memory of the flock, tears welled in my eyes, but I quickly brushed them away. I sorely missed them. I looked over hoping to see Fang stretched out on the opposite bed. It was empty. I launched out of bed, pulled on a different pair of jeans and a hoodie, bolted through the door towards the mini-kitchen, ignoring my arm which was screaming with my super-quick reflexes. When I came into the kitchen, I spotted Fang, knife and cloth in hand, kneeling in a pool of shiny crimson liquid. It took me a moment to realise it was blood. I darted forward and grabbed the knife from his grip and held it above my head, blood dripped off the end of the knife.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' I screamed at him. His eyes clouded over with worry.

'Drop.the.knife.Max.just.drop.the.knife!' he commanded in a tone I'd never heard him use before. He never even broke eye contact, not even to blink. It was so frightening that my grip loosened automatically and the knife clattered to the floor. It took me a moment to break the connection and regain my senses. I felt light-headed for some reason and stumbled back. Fang leapt up to catch me as I fell. His trousers were coated in blood; obviously he had been trying to clean it up before I saw. I couldn't concentrate too well, my vision was blurry and my arm throbbed like hell had resided in it.

Fang placed his hands on the sides of my face, his lips moving but I couldn't hear a word. Suddenly a lightning bolt seemed to shoot through my head and I could see and hear clearly again. Fang jerked his hands away, he'd felt the shock too.

'What the hell were you doing cutting? Were you going to leave me all alone? Hey, speak would you, 'cos I'd like to hear why?' I hissed.

'Me? Cutting? Max that was your blood back there,' he whispered looking at e with concern.

'No, Fang, the blood of mine that is in you does not count as my blood!'

'Max, I'd never cut! You can check me all over for marks that aren't there, but did you bother to check your bandage?' he asked. I bit my lip, I'd just thought it was there from our last fight. I looked down and pulled at the bandage, I unwrapped all the layers, they became damper and darker with the blood. I winced as I pulled off the last layer. I gasped as it revealed three deep slash wounds in my lower arm. I held it away, trying to get rid of the image of it.

'No, oh, no, I'd never do that, oh, please let this be a dream, oh please let me wake up soon!' I whispered starting to shake. This couldn't be true, I would never do a thing like that, no matter how much I hurt inside.

'I'm sorry, Max but its very much the truth,' Fang whispered.

'Wrap it up, I can't look at it anymore,' I sobbed. Fang gently took my arm, reached out and grabbed a wad of bandages from the first aid kit that was lying on the kitchen floor, obviously he had patched me up last night and left it there. He tenderly and carefully wrapped the bandages around my arm. Suddenly a thought struck me.

'If I lost that much blood,' I whispered pointing towards the huge puddle of blood about a metre from where I was, 'how come I'm not dead?' Fang grimaced.

'I hoped you wouldn't ask that,' he said, 'As soon as I touched the deepest gash, which you could see part of the bone through, it started to heal, it took a lot out of me to get the muscle and bone fused back together, so I stopped and by then you had almost stopped bleeding and so I bandaged you up and took you back to bed.' I nodded, beginning to understand. So, Fang had a new power, that he had kept from me, interesting. I had a secret power too but I wasn't about to give that away! Fang looked at me, I had obviously seemed a little distant, like when I talked to Jeb in my head. Arghh, it hurt to say his name, that evil son-of-a-bitch, spawn of Satan himself, devil's sidekick, the person who will rot the deepest in hell. The one who made my flock, except me and Fang get caught by the School. I hated him, he was my father, I mean sure he saved me and accidentally saved Fang but he caught the rest of purpose. Why couldn't it have been me, I am the oldest and the little ones aren't even in double figures, how are they supposed to stand all the torture! Fang, suddenly reached out and took my hand, he squeezed it.

'I think we need to save them and fast!' Fang whispered, making me more confused then ever.

**Hey that's the next chapter up, please review.**

**I want five reviews before I will post the next chapter!!!!!**

**Lots of flying virtual love**

**Beth**

**xxxxxxxxxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is to clear things up but you see I was only going to make it a one shot but you guys wanted more, so this takes place after STWAOES and Fang and Max never got together. There will definitely be FAX later as I am a complete worshipper of it. What happened with Max being driven to cutting will become clear next but any ideas would be nice, as I am only starting to plan what's going to happen next.**

**SO THIS IS A **_**FLASHBACK CHAPTER!!!**_

**Lots of flying virtual love,**

**Beth.**

I was lying in the cave, the flock were playing at the beach about three hundred feet below me. Fang was sitting near me, seemingly very interested in his first aid kit; he'd been avoiding me a lot lately. Well, ever since we'd left mom's house. I felt more alone than I had ever felt. I brought my knees up to my chest wincing as a pain throbbed through my stomach. I stretched out again and pulled my shirt out; blood was seeping through my bandage.

'Oh, brother,' I muttered, pushing against the wound and hissing under my breath. Fang looked over, finally breaking his gaze on the band-aid. He slowly walked over, eyes filled with concern.

'Max?' he asked, 'What's wrong?' I pointed to the bandage, he grabbed his first aid kit, it was pristine and all neatly packed away. I suppressed a giggle. Fang pulled out another bandage, took off my current one and re-dressed it. I smiled at him, in thanks and he nodded his head and went back to his position on the on the other side of the cave. He picked up his backpack this time, anything to stop me making conversation with him. Fang unpacked his backpack, replaced everything again, it took him an hour.

I must have dozed off. Because I was suddenly woken up by a scream, both Fang and I jumped to our feet and shot to the front of the cave, looking down towards the beach. I gasped; the flock was being dragged away by at least a dozen erasers each. There was no way Fang and I could handle fifty newly equipped erasers who were carrying two machine guns each. I broke down on my knees, sobs wracking through my body. Fang stepped behind me rubbing my shoulders with his thumbs.

'We have to go after them,' I whispered, Fang squeezed my shoulders as if to say yes. Just then pain burst through my head, I fell to one side, knees squeezed to my chest, tears falling out the side of my tightly closed eyelids. Then through the pain a voice, I recognised as Jeb's, roared,

'Don't go after them, if you do, this pain will destroy your soul and rip your life in two!'

The pain took ages to subside, or so it seemed. I finally opened my eyes, and Fang's face filled my view. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, I could just see my flock struggling to get away from the erasers who were flying into the distance. Tears rolled freely down my face and for the first time I threw myself into a rage, I hit the ground with my fists and pummelled the wall, tears running rivers down my face. I felt helpless and I couldn't go after them. I'd kill myself which would kill Fang and Angel would probably feel it. I thumped the ground one last time, before Fang held me down, to stop me doing any more damage to myself.

'What the hell are you doing?' Fang practically shouted at me. My sobs and tears subsided and I turned to face him.

'If we go after them, it would be my death, literally, my soul destroyed, my life ripped into shreds,' I whispered. Fang looked shocked. 'I found out during the attack, oh, I can't help them now, you must go and save them on your own, I… I just can't do it.' Fang stood up and walked away to the mouth of the cave and looked out towards the sunset, he didn't say a word but from his silhouette he was tense, which clearly meant he wasn't going to leave me. He dropped his shoulders and turned back to me.

'Now that's something I can't do,' he replied, his eyes hypnotising me, I shook my head away from the thought.

'Why?'

'I'm not leaving you, Max, I'm sorry, if you can't save them, then…then,' he stopped, his voice clearly breaking; I swore I could see tears welling in his eyes. I stood up and lay a hand on his shoulder; I felt a jolt of electricity pass through my hand. I retracted it at once, holding it in my other hand. What was that? I asked myself.

You're attracted to him

The voice had to comment then! I squeezed my eyes shut and then anger just seemed to take over. _Where are my flock? _I demanded.

Safe.

_Safe, where?_

The school

I jumped up. Screaming no in my head. I paced up and down the cave, hands on my head. I punched the wall. I swore out loud. Fang placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, I felt all the rage soak up.

'They're… they're at the school!' I sobbed. Fang's eyes flared in recognition. Suddenly my vision became blurry and then just readjusted but in that split second I thought I saw the flock lying in a white room in steel cages, Angel had a large bruise covering the left side of her face, Nudge's breath came out in small sobs, Gazzy was tucked in a ball, teats streaming, Iggy was looking straight ahead sightlessly, tears marks streaking his dirty face. I was quickly brought back to the present. Fang jumped backwards.

'Your eyes…your eyes, they just shone…golden!' he whispered failing to keep the surprise out of his voice. I was taken aback. But more so, what the hell had just happened?

**Part two of the flashback coming soon!!!!!!!**

**Reviews are necessary for happy and updating authors!!!**

**Lots more love,**

**Beth**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


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